I have two selves. Let me say to start that I don’t mean that in a crazy way. Jainism actually posits that we have many selves inside that are distinct entities. I don’t know that I would go that far, but who am I to say. And there is a book by a neuroscientist that I just read (Incognito by David Eagleman) that says that the human self is actually composed of various selves. This is why you can argue with yourself. “I want some cake. I’m not going to have any. Maybe if I just had a slice, No I don’t want it. Yes I do! I’ll just have a taste. Don’t touch it!” While in reality I’m not especially excited by cake, I always use that example. Whatever it is for each of us that really gets those other selves going, the conversation is often similar.
Since I was very young I have known some spiritual things. And diving into those things there is just bliss. There’s nothing left to say. No words can convey that reality or how it feels. And knowing this, I am aware that life as we know it is just a ride. But here I am in material reality with all these people doing all these things. I’m here to be here. I can’t participate here if I rely on what I know – that this is all illusion and it’s all perfectly ok just as it is. So one of my selves knows all of that. But I need another self to participate here. To dive into feeling and doing and being! And that self really feels! The intensity, the good and the bad!
But if I don’t keep myself busy with the world then I know that it’s not really happening the way we think it is. Illusions. And then I can’t participate. I’m here to be here. Not to sit by and not DO material reality. So these two selves are in conflict. One needs nothing and knows it’s all perfect. The other needs things and feels things.
So some ask how I can be so involved in the fun things in the world and how I can offer help to people when I know that it’s all an illusion. It all fits in with all the rest of material reality and can help many people living in material reality if help is what they want. They don’t have to want things to be any different than they are. But if they do, there are things I can do to accomplish that.
Think of it like fiction – we know fiction isn’t real, but some people like to read books and some people like to write books. And some don’t at all. And that’s all fine.